Roadkill Bingo

Kentucky is a big state, compared to the UK at least, and visitors must drive pretty much everywhere. Some of the drives are among the most scenic and beautiful you will ever experience, be it through wooded national parks or skirting the rolling picket-fenced or stonewalled horse farms. With a total area of 40,000 sq miles, measuring 379 miles from east to west and 140 miles north to south, there is a lot of driving to do, especially when hurtling from A to B on a strict tourist timetable.

Some drives can drag a bit, even with the jingle jangle of the banjo on the bluegrass-playing radio said stations, so it’s good to spice them up with some fun car games, using the flora and fauna as inspiration. One popular game for long-distance trips is “roadkill bingo”.

OK, it seems a bit sick, spotting dead animals, but you will never see so much roadkill in your life, and so varied.

Sadly, roadkill is a fact of life in Kentucky; the locals are used to it and as they say, when in Rome … So, if you can get over the sadness, and the blood, give it a whirl.

All you have to do is buy a roadkill bingo board game  or make one yourself and tick off the critters as you spot them. Some versions include lines and grids. Alternatively, score them as you drive. With certain points for certain beasts.

I’ve scored certain beasts depending on their frequency or rarity. There’s one point if you spot a dead racoon, they are pretty much everywhere in Kentucky and easily identifiable; with 2 points for a squirrel, 3 for a hare, and 4 points for a possum (not that possums are rare, it’s just that you never know if it’s a possum or not – they range in size from a large mouse to a large house cat).

Give five points for a coyote; I saw what looked like a dead wild dog on the road to Lexington from Bardstown, and thought it was someone’s pet, until we realised we were way out in the country and this looked too big, too wild, to be a pet. Apparently there are coyotes in Kentucky.

A deer we valued at 6 points; there’s no fun in spotting one, mind, it’s too sad, but they are very common (Kentucky has the highest number per capita in the US), especially in spring, when the males get frisky and don’t care about crossing the road to mate. There are warning signs for deer just about everywhere. Give six points, too, for wild turkey, also very common but rarely seen by roadsides. And no, the bourbon brand doesn’t count!

For the jackpot, however, it has to be a skunk; 10 points. Not because they are rare – they are not – but because when you drive slowly over a freshly killed one, it absolutely stinks. If you have the windows open, or the sunroof up, award double points, because the smell is overpowering, and with the windows down you are at one with nature for some time: the smell – and it’s as bad as the cartoons make out – stays in your car for up to five miles.

Basically, the player with the highest number of points wins. Well, it beats I-Spy or 20 questions.